As we know them, the descontos are the roadside markers we see at the scene of accidents, often where death has occurred. Translated from Spanish to mean "resting place".
Dr Estes submits we take metephorical view of these markers as points of rest for the small and large deaths that we encounter over our lifetime. Our aim, she tells us, is to mark that instance where we suffered the death, with an aim to forgive and forget. She recommends making a timeline of all these points of death and marking them.
According to Clarissa there are Four Stages to Forgiveness:
- to forgo – to leave it alone
- to forbear – to abstain from punishing
- to forget – to avert from memory, to refuse to dwell
- to forgive – to abandon the debt
“Forgiveness is an act of creation. You can choose from many ways to do it. You can forgive for now, forgive till then, forgive till the next time, forgive but give no more chances it’s a whole new game if there is another incident. You can give one more chance, give several more chances, give many chances, give chances only if. You can forgive part, all, or half of the offense. You can devise a blanket of forgiveness. You decide”
― Clarissa Pinkola Estés
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