I have seen a few of this woman's videos and I'm struck by her honest look at the verbal abuse in her marriage. If you are wondering about your own marriage this video might strike a chord. She's unrehearsed and truly looking to understand. There is nothing like an honest testimony.
At the end of my long marriage of 33 years, I found and read books by the same author that this woman discovered, Patricia Evans. One day I googled "husband gives cold shoulder", as it was the only way I could think to describe my experience, and Patricia's books appeared at the top of the page. I was on the receiving end of Withholding for many years. Withholding sex and withholding acknowledgement as a means to attempt to control me. Many times my partner left the house or arrived back home without so much as a simple "hello". Naturally in public settings he would charm others with his praise of me. He made a calculated choice to bully (abuse) me in private or sometimes in public in front of strangers, like in an airport. I'm certain that if you asked him he would accuse me of this behavior. That's called Projection.
I was, of course, criticized and ridiculed for reading these books and for searching out therapies and workshops to help me (and us). Abusers (bullies) rely heavily on control techniques with names like Deflection, Projection, Blame, and Withholding. They count on their partners to stay in Denial and to be Confused.
There is nothing like an honest testimony to open the floodgates of understanding. There is language to describe verbal and emotional abuse. Patricia Evans' books do a good job of giving partners of abusers the language necessarily to understand that their marriages are NOT normal.
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