Spring is a time that is synonymous with growth, newness, warmth, and life. In the Christian tradition, it is the time when the Resurrection is celebrated during Easter, and in other religious and non-religious traditions, this season also carries significance. Spring conjures up all kinds of beautiful images and visions. It is a perfect time to resurrect life within.
The term “resurrection” is commonly thought to mean, “rising from the dead,” but another way of defining this term is, “the act of bringing back to practice, notice, or use; revival.” What a poignant way of looking at the term – bringing back; revival – and what an auspicious time to revive yourself and live life, then in the spring.
So much “life” is stolen when in relationship with a pathological individual. Those with Cluster B Personality Disorders are “takers” – giving is rarely an option with these individuals unless it is somehow for their benefit. Life – in the forms of self-esteem, time, effort, concern, empathy, money, health, and so much more – is taken when in a pathological relationship. The pathological has few if any boundaries, so they do not know, nor do they care if they are infringing on your internal and external resources. They take, because they have nothing really worthwhile to give in terms of relational qualities. Even if they show ways of emoting, they are often fleeting, vague and unfulfilling in terms of a love relationship. So as a result of their taking, one is often left bone dry with nothing left to give. This is not a good state to be in physically, mentally, or emotionally as you must give to yourself to have life flowing within.
So, how is it possible to resurrect life within when feeling depleted? The ways to accomplish this vary as much as personalities vary. Each person may require something different to assist in this process – and it is a process. Spending years, if not a lifetime within pathological relationships is not something that can be erased or rectified with a few quick suggestions or counseling sessions. It is a process, and a lifelong journey to becoming a whole person.
The first step is to desire having life within – not just going through the motions. When one desires life, the natural inclination is to seek life-giving people and circumstances. This may involve actively seeking out balanced and aware individuals to include in your inner circle. After having the life force depleted within, as the result of dealing with a disordered relationship, it is very important to include people in your life that are givers. They are the ones that enhance your life instead of taking the life force away. A person of exemplary character in friendship is a rare gift, and something to be cherished, as they are able to assist in loving you back to wholeness. When surrounded by quality people – the givers of life – it automatically allows for situations and circumstances that will promote life and wholeness.
Conversations become reciprocal, opinions are respected, emotions are validated, and you are treated as a person instead of an object. Your time and thoughts become more focused on living with purpose and intention with less time spent thinking about the inane qualities of the pathological relationship (past or present). Life becomes more exciting and worth living.
To live with purpose and intention, and including others of like mind in your life, changes the whole scope of your thinking and way of living. Living with intention and purpose literally resurrects life within as you become more aware of how you are living your life. To live intentionally and with purpose means you live in the present moment – not focusing on the past, or obsessing about the future. It means setting goals for yourself that will promote and enhance your quality of life, and then maintaining the focus and clarity needed to obtain these goals. In future columns the subjects of meditation and mindfulness will be discussed to introduce you to ways of working with the mind to assist in maintaining focus, clarity, and awareness. This in turn, will help you in obtaining your goals by changing the way you think.
During this season of spring, become aware of the growth that is taking place in nature, and realize that growth can also take place within. Grow by giving yourself the permission to heal, to be loved by others, and to commit to resurrecting life within.
http://saferelationshipsmagazine.com/resurrecting-life-within
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