Ask An Addict

What would you most want to say to spouses or partners that they might need to know?

"This would probably be answered differently by every recovering addict but I can only speak for myself. I would first say that what was very difficult for my own recovery process was processing shame.

The field of sex addiction treatment is rather new, and I didn't find much official help and understanding of shame and how this affects recovery. Shame is different than guilt. My shame fueled the spiral of my compulsions and, despite however beautiful and magnificent my partner was, the acting out behavior had nothing to do with her. I was acting out separately from all her positive influences in my life."

 http://www.posarc.com/index.php, Partners of Sex Addicts Resource Center.  It is an awesome resource for both the partner and the addict.  One of the best I've found so far.

I included the above text because of the sentence; "...despite however beautiful and magnificent my partner was, the acting out behavior had nothing to do with her. I was acting out separately from all her positive influences in my life."


That statement is  the Holy Grail for me.  It tells the whole story, the tragedy of addiction, through the eyes of a recovered addict.  No active addict would admit this.