Becoming an Expert on Pornography and Sex Addiction

Never did I imagine I would be concerning myself with the social implications of Pornography or its brutality to self, to intimacy and to the brain.  This tributary of examination is yet another gift from my long marriage.  It's how I am able to sort through the wreckage, the lies and betrayal. You may not view this as the noble equivalent of a mother's search for a treatment for her child's rare disease or a sister's pledge to find a cure for breast cancer, yet it is part of what I encountered in my life, so far.

If it were my choice I might have hoped for a cause more socially normative (more sexy) and certainly not one where I could be subject to whispers or suspicions about my character or the truthfulness of my experience.

We are surrounded by sexualized images, living in a virtual sea of pornographic culture but we are NOT supposed to put a light on it's evil seduction which annihilates values and relationships. Let's just not talk (or write) about it.  Lets pretend it's not really here until we can no longer and we are personally overtaken in it's wake. Sadly, that's pretty much what I did. It's a lot to confront but I am compelled to do so because I need to heal and this bit of writing is helping me.

Of course when I use the term 'expert' I use it in jest.  In the end this is no more than a scrapbook of what I searched for and learned on the Internet, in books, research papers, and in forums punctuated by some music some images and a few original posts describing how I feel and what I experienced.  If it reaches you and you learn something, I have exceeded my goal.