SELF EMPOWERMENT, Embracing Sisterhood

 My definition of  feminism can be summed up in one word, EMPOWERMENT.  I find myself describing in great detail the traits and behaviors of Verbal Abusers here and how confusing it is to be at the receiving end.  What I want to emphasise is that  SELF EMPOWERMENT is the light to find our way through this and other dark forces we face.

I have written about how society and culture has defined for men their roles as aggressors and has taught them they are entitled to dominance over women.  The reverse is true for women.  We have been taught to submit, to be "nice".  I think this message of sublimation is part of why I stayed so long in a marriage to a man whose power-over aggression was his primary method of coping.

Despite the chuckle we now enjoy over the stereotypical 1950's housewife, the generational message to women , and to me, has been that of deference to the man.  This is still being modeling in this country in countless families.  Efforts to break the generational programming results in the labeling of women as 'bitch' or 'feminazi'.  Today the normalization of pornography is rapidly increasing the sexualization of women and girls and we are contributing to this by acceptance of  and contribution to the culture. This is NOT helping to get message of equality to either men or women.

Self Empowerment is our best tool.  How do we get there?  One of the foundations is communion with other women through honest discussion.  I have found support in women from vastly diverse economic and social status.  We share this history of sublimation and we need to listen to each other more than ever.   We cannot expect progress if we don't openly admit the truth to one another and in doing so confront the culture of submission and compliance.

We are surrounded by resources and by opportunity.  In his book Why Does He Do That, Lundy Bancroft strongly recommends asking a man's previous partner about their past relationship dynamic before you commit. Now that's sisterhood! Given opportunity, men who refuse to abandon self limiting beliefs and embrace equality should be regarded as unfit, until they evolve.

Women who are struggling with obsolete roles or have alternatively bought into the porntification of our modern world need education and encouragement to change their lives and thereby the lives of families. We need to re-educate men in our relationships and the boys that we raise, standing resolute in the belief that to work toward equality is good for everyone.

                                                                             
This woman did so much to help Women and Men, thanks Oprah.   You are The Best!